Rain's Backstory

Editor’s note: the following unedited transcript takes place just after Chapter six ends of Shackled City and is being submitted for publication. The only editing done was to insert text to indicate physical actions taken and will be noted in italics.

Interviewer - Ray Falhn, reporter for the Cauldron Examiner (hereto referred to as RF)
Interviewing – Rain of the infamous Rubblerousers.


RF: Hi Rain, Thanks for coming and answering some questions for your fans.

Rain: Yeah whatever.

RF: Well then, let’s get right to it shall we? The first thing your public would like to know is where did you grow up?

Rain: Where did I grow up? Heh, anywhere but home. Home sucked.

RF: I’m so sorr-

Rain: Yeah whatever. (waves hand)

RF: Ok. (Silence while RF rearranges notecards) Let me ask you then, what was your family like?

Rain: Family? Heh, guess where my name comes from? The month before I was born it rained 24/7. For a whole stinking month. Like it’s my fault or something. Sheesh. This is my family. Named me after some lousy growing season. (shakes head)

RF: Alright than, let’s talk about your rogue abilities, how did you learn your craft?

Rain: Heh, same lousy parents. Just because I picked on my kid sister they tended to lock me up in my room. “Said it was for my own good (said in a falsetto sneering voice)” they said. Well after getting locked up too many times, I started messing around with the lock. First it was the prongs – you know, those little things on those hard plastic combs? Yea, I’d break ‘em off and jam in in the lock. Eventually I stole the bobbypins in my sis’ hair and found those worked pretty good.

RF: What about a Rogue trainer or apprenticeship?

Rain: Bah, once I got the hang of picking locks, I would break into the wizard’s library at night and read about all I’d need to know. You wouldn’t believe the amount of material you can find if you are persistent. Those wizards are packrats when it comes to books. I bet they never get around to reading a quarter of what they hoard.

RF: You would break into the wizard’s library? Weren’t you afraid of being caught?

Rain: Those wizzies are pretty smart, I bet they knew I was sneaking in and reading their stuff. Besides, I never took anything that I wasn’t gonna bring back anyway.

RF: Let’s talk now about your motivation. What makes Rain tick?

Rain: (leans forward) Now we’re getting to it. I found a book one night that read of an ancient sword that would lop the heads off of enemies if you swung it in just the right way. There was a passage that I can remember to this day. “…Treasure abounds to those that fought. Dangers and pitfalls to those that naught. Locked in stone dark and grey, await’s the light of beholder’s may”. (Pauses)

RF: Um…

Rain: Yea I thought the same thing when I first read it, because it’s obvious to me that whomever wrote it was a lousy poet. About all I could get out of it was that there was a sword and it’s locked up somewhere, but anyway, the whole point was (in an excited voice) What a cool sword! I mean it’s not likely that I’d try and lop somebody’s head off with it, but wouldn’t it be a cool thing to have? Imagine the pickup opportunities at the bar? (in a mock voice) Hey baby, wanna go back to my place and check out my cool sword? Heh.

RF: Um…

Rain: Really Ray, imagine it. Sitting up on my mantle all shiny and stuff. Wouldn’t that just rock?

RF: Well, no not really.

Rain: Yeah, well sorry you don’t see it, but for me? That’s my motivation. (Points for emphasis) Yeah.

RF: For those that have never met you, please describe yourself.

Rain: What? You can’t sit here and see that I’m an elf? Need to borrow my Goggles of minute seeing? (gets up and starts to hand them to RF)

RF: No no, what I meant was for those that read this article to know what you look like.

Rain: Oh so now you want to pick on my unibrow now? I know I have a lousy charisma score, but that doesn’t mean you need to point it out to everyone else (crosses arms). Oh and you better not be putting this part into you article.

RF: Well-

Rain: I mean really. Pick on the ugly little elf. Not like I had any choice in the matter, it was the ol’ roll of the dice if you know what I mean.

RF: Actually I do (Turns to the DM and smiles)

Rain: Alright then, is there anything else?

RF: A few more questions.

Rain: Ask away.

RF: Right. So what brings you to Cauldron then?

Rain: Rumors that I might find the sword I’m looking for is here. Or around here. Or buried here. Who knows? After all it’s only rumors, but I (jabs finger in air for emphasis) will find that sword if it’s the last thing I do. Then I’m gonna get drunk.

RF: Ah, so you like to drink?

Rain: You betchyer ass I do! Plus I heard that Cauldron had this water festival every year and the whole town parties for like a week or two straight! Can you believe how unbelievably awesome that is!

RF: And how did you like it?

Rain: Oh boy, you should have seen it! I got this buddy Grokk that drank the table under everybody in the friggin town! It was a sweet sight! Except for that last dude though. I swear he was cheating or something but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

RF: I wouldn’t worry about it. The point was, that you had fun and-

Rain: Look, whatever, but this is getting pretty tedious. You have any more questions?

RF: Just one. The Rubblerousers?

Rain: What? You have something against rubble? Hell I just came from a whole frigging PLANE of rubble. (gets up off seat) Do you have any ale around here? I’m thirsty, and besides I gotta get over to Skie’s to upgrade my stuff. See you around Ray (walks off).